I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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