She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
