She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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