I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
