I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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