Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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