i just made my gag reflex go away.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
