The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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