They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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