we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
