I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
