Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
