I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize