Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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