I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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