Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
