just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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