Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
