Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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