just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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