he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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