You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
