dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
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Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just pee around me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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