I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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