There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize