well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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