i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
