Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
