i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
