3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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