we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
