i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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