separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
