I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
