Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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