Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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