In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
