Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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