I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize