Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
