It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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