she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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