one two three fourrrrnication!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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