just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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