so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
