She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
