NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize