____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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