mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i think i just lost a toe
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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