I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
