Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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