sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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