He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
