I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
