Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
