I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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