every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
