I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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