dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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