omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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