Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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