I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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