Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
