i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
