Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize