super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
