She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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