you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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