think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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