so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
